My name is Spencer R. Brasure. I am a single, God-Loving father of one, in my early 40's. I am writing to you while experiencing a real-life nightmare, that most only read about or sees in a movie. Living out this horror in the darkest of places where one is left to be forgotten, tortured with the knowledge of my intended fate, until a prescribed time. Eventually, I will be strapped to a gurney, against my will, hooked-up to a poison filled I.V. faced with an executioner who will carry out my State-Sanctioned Murder, in the name of the people – you! That darkest of places in none other than the cold, dark, damp tombs of the infamous death row at San Quentin State Prison in California.

These are obviously not the happiest of times, everything I have worked so hard for, my dreams, have all been shattered. I humble myself to reach out to the world with some glimmer of hope to make a new friend, praying that you will not judge me before taking time to get to know me as a person, not as the monster others would have you believe. It is in these times, when I find that I could really use a good friend where an emotional bond can be made. I do not recall where I heard it, but there is a Russian Proverb: “Hope is the last to die,” I can tell you I am not dead. I am very much alive, filled with hope, and where there is life, there is hope.

Further, as I become vocal and visible to the world, assembling a flowing network of compassionate individuals like you to share in my joys and pains, we can endure the fight of my life --- together. In this fight, I face many who wish to see my life brought to an end through what a majority of society accepts as a “Lawful Murder”, carried out in the name of the people – you! How can our laws say that murder is a crime, then turn around and say a lawful murder is not? What kind of reasoning is this? If you are like me, you can only see this type of reasoning as hypocrisy. I deserve to fight this unlawful justice, but I cannot do it alone. I am but one man faced against many. Does this seem fair to you? With your help and support we can tip of scales of justice! After all, aren’t the laws of this state and country supposed to be available to all of us? PSALMS 88:3, “Let my Father come before you, incline your ear to my call for help, for my soul is surfeited with troubles and my life draws near.”

I often feel lonely and afraid, refusing to believe that all of humanity has gone gold, dismissing fair and true justice, desiring only revenge in this ever increasingly hardened life. I cannot for a minute believe that love and compassion have become a thing of the past. The errors of our mistakes are seen all around us these days. It is one tragic event after another. God knows, I have made my share of them, haven’t we all? Who can honestly say, if you are true to yourself, that you too haven’t made many mistakes in your life?

I am a simple person from a simple background. I have dreams of something better just like everyone else. These dreams, I hold onto ever so tightly, personal dreams that maybe you will allow me to share, to give you a glimpse into my soul. I have goals and responsibilities that have been put on hold, but hope to see accomplished some day. I am not without fortitude. Currently I try to involve myself in every aspect of my death penalty appeal, learning the laws that pertain to my case so that I might identify violations from my trial. As you can imagine, it is very difficult and often frustrating. I do not quite understand the law and the appellate process due to the painfully obvious fact that I have no formal legal training. Like anyone who has been wronged, I must do all that I possibly can to right this severe injustice. I cannot just sit back and let my accusers have their way with my life. PSALMS 71:13 “Let them be put to shame and consumed who attack my life; let them be wrapped in ignominy and disgrace who seek to harm me.

I am also very involved in prisoner rights, in the face of our abusers who find a sinister pleasure in the inhumane treatment of prisoners who often find themselves at the receiving end of some form of very cruel behavior and are unable to defend themselves administratively. It is not enough that we face of the most heinous and dire circumstances but that our captors, men and women (paid with your tax dollars) who have sworn a pledge to uphold and enforce the laws of this State and Country. Prison guards and other law enforcement individuals who go a step further, “above the law” with deliberate and malicious criminal intent, inflict some of the most barbaric forms of abuse on prisoners without cause, one can only find it shocking and appalling that this is happening daily (In American prisons and on American soil), in the name of the people. I for one will not sit idly by with my mouth shut while this happens to those around me or even to myself! Will you help me fight the evils I face? PSALM 97:10 “The Lord loves those that hate evil”.

It is easy to be forgotten in such an empty barbaric place, where the daily routine is no different than Iraq’s Abu Ghraib Prison. Like these very prisoners, I refuse to let our abusers have me believing that we are anything less than humans. MATTHEW 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow, or reap or rather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them, are not you of much more value than they? I am much more valuable than what my captors want me to believe or what they want you to believe. PSALMS 127:3 “Behold, children are a gift from the Lord”.

I am a compassionate, approachable man, filled with a loving, kindness that many can come to appreciate. I am a son, a brother and a friend. I am a father or so I still believe and call myself. I lost my daughter, Nina Elizabeth to cancer when she was only five years old. I was 2 ½ months into my death sentence. I am tortured by the day that Nina died, as is her Mother and my dear friend, remembering it like it was only yesterday. We still cry often, we are human I am STILL Nina’s father, her daddy. Nina’s mother and I are very passionate about the idea of creating a mechanism in honor of our daughter to generate revenue for Wilms Cancer research so some other child and family does not have to endure what we continue to weather since Nina passed on November 5, 1998.

I have faced the reality of what might become of me, but until then,  I will fight this egregious injustice, in the hope of regaining my freedom. I DID NOT KILL ANYONE!

A theory was established, based on drug-induced lies, to seek my life for a life brutally taken. My obvious conviction was “doomed from the start”. I was indicted by a Grand Jury whom later was found to have been unlawfully empaneled, making the indictment invalid. Leaving the trial court lacking lawful jurisdiction to conduct a fair trial. I also learned that this same Grand Jury never even indicted me for first-degree murder. These and many other constitutional violations, made a fair trial impossible where I lacked effective legal representation. There is but “one bite at the apple” (as they say in the legal arena) in which to argue my case and the many constitutional violations through appellate proceedings, can justice be found? I am hoping so. PSALMS 38:22 “Forsake me not, O Lord, My God, Be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord my salvation”!

My faith and hope keeps me going as time is clearly against me, it is my life that I want back, but the fees associated with quality legal representation are absolutely enormous.

Will you join me in this struggle? I reach out my hand to you to stand with me in this fight. You may ask me any questions that you have about my life on death row, or perhaps you may offer some form of assistance. At the very least we can build a lasting friendship!! Please write me at the following address:

Spencer R. Brasure P10000
San Quentin State Prison
1 Tamal Main Street
San Quentin, CA 94974-0001
USA

www.deathrowinmate.org     -    twitter@deathrowinmates

Imagine your entire life being about the worst thing you've ever been accused of? My name is Spencer Brasure. I'm a 40-something Catholic single white man and co-founder of www.deathrowinmate.org, sharing here from the haunting empty confines of America's largest and most notorious death row at San Quentin State Prison.
With profound gratitude and great humility, I comfortably speak on behalf of Michael and myself when saying that we thank those of you who've become active participants in our pursuit of „adaptive survival“, which as you've seen firsthand, remains overly-encouraged by any number of charitable opportunities met with blossoming and meaningful social relationships, intimate patronage, and unwavering solidarity.
Have you seen the news lately? Your hard-earned money is being routinely filtered into the nation's criminal justice system. Apparently, crime does pay.
Capital Punishment for example, from the state level to the federal government, continues at an alarming rate. When is enough, really enough? From these tiny prison cells, faced with the enormous task of survival, it is the disenfranchised that inspire us collectively, to foster change on so many fronts. Politics have proven to create quite an unfair advantage and burden upon those of us whom are working against all odds to rehabilitate ourselves.
Here in California, Governor Arnold (The Terminator) Schwarzenegger has been provided ample conscious opportunity to save billions by simply abandoning the penalty of death --- money that should surely be used on various things such as health care, education, and keeping a significant law-enforcement presence out on the streets.
Sadly however, he'd rather subject public safety, health care, and nationwide exposure to quality educations for our children to peril --- gambling with chance , so that the machinery of vengeance can move forward. State-sanctioned murder in lieu of academics.
Recent economic downturns with little promise of revival threaten to dramatically obstruct progress and limit existing programs that should otherwise prove positive in the struggle for outreach and change.
How can you argue that a fate worse than death exists, when there clearly remains at least one solid alternative to lethal punishment? We know that there have been any number of innocent men and women exonerated short of what would've amounted to a tragic ending in life. Can't we somehow develop a protocol whereby both victims and thir perpetrators can benefit from some semblance of making things right? People make mistakes, no-one is infallible.

Without even beginning to broach the subject of my personal criminal case and conviction, I'm frighteningly reminded of how political agendas are narrowly and selfishly cultivated as large goals at tremendous costs to American tax-payers are effortlessly put in motion --- prosecutors constantly fabricate elaborate lies and politicians chase magnificent careers upon the brittle bones of the condemned. This is a nationwide epidemic. Don't take my word for it, finish this article and then click onto www.ccfaj.org and locate the commission report --- a comparative study paid for, to the tune of $ 55 million dollars to meet the fees associated with seventy (70) legal professionals in their various fields of expertise, who studied the total picture and were able to subsequently create a comprehensive plan (on paper)  to repair the state death penalty system's dysfunction. Ten's of millions of tax-payer's dollars were spent to sort through every minute detail of the proposed „fix-it“ treatise, only to have Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger veto the entire plan. Why buy the milk when you can own the entire dairy farm?

Michal Flinner and I are working tirelessly to restore our unbelievably-damaged reputations, vilified by all of our peers, yet tackling every single day with a deliberate sense of purpose. We've come upon many communal ambitions but none have touched our hearts as much as reaching all of humanity with a handful of incredible variations on the theme of peace.
Enter www.deathrowinmate.org, a non-profit anti-death penalty grassroots organization, directed by one of the nation's best web pros. In our infancy, DRI is growing fast as you can see (just navigate the toolbar), with a variety of controversial and charitably-challenging topics --- lofty aspirations some might argue against. For me, the truth dictates no compromise and the answers remain in aggressive networking.

We constantly find ourselves exhausted with the unyielding search for help in exposing this site to the world, individuals and organizations whom vehemently oppose Capital Punishment, as well as those whom find themselves undecided. So far, we've been blessed with approachable and indomitable spirits in this pursuit of reclamation. It's true what they say, „The closer you are to death, the harder you cling to life“.
United in prayer in search of the colossal support mechanism to escort us into tomorrow, we aim to reach out into the globe and lend a helping hand to other less-fortunate folks, shouldering the many burdens of their adversities. It's not always clear what may derive from dark-hearted humanity and what may actually be a deliberate teaching from God.

This journey of ours is long and complicated. What possible explanation could there be for men likes us to spend our time in condemnation --- trying to find ways to help others? For me, the answer is simple. Had my late five year old daughter survived her bout with Wilm's Cancer, nothing like this (even with the prison component) would have become part of who I am today. Nina's death instantly taught me how precious life really is. Nothing would've gotten in the way of my ability to sacrifice anything and everything for her... and then this tragedy struck us.

When directly contrary to what I understand nature in all of its subtle ways dictates for humanity, how is it that selflessness becomes the pinnacle of human attainment? As it turns out, the explanation is discernible. Something far greater than just ones' genes are called goodness. As a compass needle is moved by magnetism, evolutionary ingenuity points each of our souls upward. We respond to forces that cannot be seen and are non material in nature. God's inspiration provides the guidance for humans to make good choices.

The Psalmist writes (PS. 37:3), „Trust in God and do good“. I ask you to notice the obvious sequence; sometimes people, the trust factor is indeed what motivates us to make good choices and do good.

In the spirit of forgiveness, we are eager to make a difference and encourage you to become a member of this website so that you and yours can share news feeds, articles, blog entries, display ads, video content, photos, and so much more to help us attain our formidable goals.

Despite boundary breaches, maintaining a redeemable spirit that refuses to succumb to suffering, is the single most important ingredient vital to total nourishing of the fertile ground where painful memories are far-too terrible to live with. It is in these times when we remember that next to the spark of Godliness, nothing is loftier in all of creation than that which is reflected in the power of choice.

Michael and I have made our --- won't you join us? We are only as faithful as  our options and today proves that silence is no-longer a choice.

Pay it forward!